One of my mom’s favorite anecdotes for new friends is to harp upon how her eldest daughter hasn’t thrown anything away since she was in kindergarten. I won’t say that this is entirely inaccurate, but maybe a bit exaggerated. So I still own a pantsuit that I wore almost 14 years ago for my 8th grade graduation, but I justify its space in my closet since it still fits. I keep t-shirts that hold sentimental value from when I was younger, but certainly not from kindergarten. I also have a bad habit of keeping clothes that I still enjoy wearing despite how worn down, holey, and threadbare they might be. Maybe I’m going for hobo chic? I would just move into 2 closets when 1 couldn’t suffice. But soon it started to feel like I was the butt of the joke rather than in on it.
Sometime in October I decided to take a small sip of Ryan’s punch and go through my closet. I pulled out almost 200 items of clothing/accessories that were going to be donated to the Salvation Army and another 30 that had to be thrown away. They sat in a pile on my bedroom floor for about two weeks until I packed them into 7-8 large bags and then they sat in the trunk of my car for another week. For once, the hesitation wasn’t born from the thought of losing something that I was giving away but just laziness since the donation site was about an hour away from my town. I was able to tell Ryan that finally unloading my car was a giant sigh of relief.
When I was just about to look to my boyfriend with a giant grin on my face, waiting for his seal of approval, I looked into my closet… Crap. My walk-in closet now looked organized, but still full. Not packed to the gills, but still an abundance of clothing met me each time I opened it. I’m still the butt of the jokes that now include that it’s amazing to think that I, of all people, would be dating a minimalist. I’m certainly picking up the hint when he sends me articles with advice on how to clean out my closet in order to match his lifestyle. I made a dent, but it was of the smallest type.
However, I’m not going to let that change the fact that I did make a dent. I’ve gathered through my own research and Ryan’s teachings that two benefits of a minimalist lifestyle are being more organized since you have less to clutter and loving the things you do possess because you can appreciate them more. My dent was small, but I fulfilled both of these goals and it made me want to push to achieve more of that feeling. I’m also not replacing the clothing that I donated because I’m happy with the items I already have and that’s not something you would have heard be say in the past. I feel content with my small step because I know that it’s just one of many.
I’m looking forward to further dwindling down my possessions so I can feel less burdened. I have my sights set on my spare bedroom next – even I can admit that there are things in there that I haven’t touched in years besides just moving it to each new apartment/house. I’m even going to attempt Project 333 (see my inspiration at the link below) while Ryan is hiking the PCT this spring. While he’s accomplishing one of the biggest goals of his life, I want to tackle a goal that will lead to my future within a smaller space. One small dent at a time.
Link: http://tinyliving.net/2013/06/11/small-living-cleaning-out-the-closet-with-project-333/
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Saturday, November 2, 2013
“Minimalism is a Philosophy.” – The Minimalist Boyfriend
My fairly old friend/fairly new boyfriend, Ryan, adopted a minimalist lifestyle a couple years ago. As a close friend I supported him on his decision and I agree with the majority of the philosophy behind his ideals. As a girlfriend I’m freaking out. He aims to live an enriched life where he can find happiness with the few things that he has and the activities that he enjoys doing. I have a closet that has more clothes in it now than he’s probably owned in the past ten years and I’ve only begun to climb out of my monotonous life hole… How long can I go with curling up on the couch to watch my TV when I have a moment of free time alone or subtly closing the closet door before he comes over? He is not a person to place judgment on me, but that’s not to say that I don’t fear it or judge myself.
While I’ve never been a materialistic person, I do buy things that some people might not consider necessary. I enjoy clothing and shoes, I will buy kitchen gadgets that I know will only be used once, and I happen to have a spare mattress that is lying on the floor in my second bedroom surrounded by items that I haven’t used in years. I have strong memories attached to so many things that it’s hard for me to part with anything. I keep shoeboxes in my closet filled with various items that open my brain back up to that moment where I encountered it for the first time. I look forward to going through the boxes in later years to relive my youth. However, my boyfriend’s last box of mementos were converted into digital photographs and stored neatly away on one of his most prized possessions, his computer.
Seeing how easy it was for him to still keep that part of his life yet in a different and more convenient format makes me question my own methods. Do I really need to physically hold an object to feel like I’m in that moment again? Or am I just grasping for a reason to keep it? Am I a closet hoarder?! (As in I keep my hoarding hidden, not that I hoard closets. Although I do love a good closet…) Ryan invites me to reconsider what I NEED in my life rather than what I WANT or what I THINK will make me happy. While he is very good at not overly pushing his points onto me or others, he does remind me that I should be constantly thinking about where I decide to put my energy.
I pride myself on being exceptionally attached to my friends and family. They are the center of my world and I know that the majority of my energy is put into making them happy and constantly feel loved. I like to hope that this habit is ingrained in me after 27 years. That I’m giving my energy to the people I love rather than the “things” surrounding me. This feels like a huge first step! These are people! These are the things that I need! Empty the closet, give away all my furniture, burn down the apartment, and free my burdened soul of these possessions that don’t make up who I am!
But wait… I need at least a bed. And some of those clothes. And an apartment for my pets and myself to live. Crap. I guess it doesn’t happen that fast or to an extent that extreme. That’s just some of what I’ve been able to absorb from him thus far. It’s not just about eliminating everything and trying to live with barely anything. It’s about appreciating life with less, or even with what you have and not craving more “stuff”. Finding out that happiness isn’t going to suddenly fly into your life with that new pair of heels or with a shiny new car. The ability to be happy is something that you have already within yourself and that’s what we should be buying into.
Knowing that I’m happy when I make others happy – That’s a step forward. Now I have to take a small step back and reassess the materials and thoughts that might be weighing me down. Or why I’m so reliant on others to make me happy instead of knowing how to be content alone. I even started a blog that reflected off of me onto Ryan because it’s easier to focus on another instead of myself. Now it sounds like a bigger step backwards. This is when I open my ears and heart and let my wise friend/wise boyfriend guide me towards the next step. Realistically, I know that I’m not going to suddenly own nothing and become one with myself and of just being. But I’m certainly in line behind all the other people in my minimalist boyfriend’s life that are willing to learn more about what this world could offer and what we could offer back.
While I’ve never been a materialistic person, I do buy things that some people might not consider necessary. I enjoy clothing and shoes, I will buy kitchen gadgets that I know will only be used once, and I happen to have a spare mattress that is lying on the floor in my second bedroom surrounded by items that I haven’t used in years. I have strong memories attached to so many things that it’s hard for me to part with anything. I keep shoeboxes in my closet filled with various items that open my brain back up to that moment where I encountered it for the first time. I look forward to going through the boxes in later years to relive my youth. However, my boyfriend’s last box of mementos were converted into digital photographs and stored neatly away on one of his most prized possessions, his computer.
Seeing how easy it was for him to still keep that part of his life yet in a different and more convenient format makes me question my own methods. Do I really need to physically hold an object to feel like I’m in that moment again? Or am I just grasping for a reason to keep it? Am I a closet hoarder?! (As in I keep my hoarding hidden, not that I hoard closets. Although I do love a good closet…) Ryan invites me to reconsider what I NEED in my life rather than what I WANT or what I THINK will make me happy. While he is very good at not overly pushing his points onto me or others, he does remind me that I should be constantly thinking about where I decide to put my energy.
I pride myself on being exceptionally attached to my friends and family. They are the center of my world and I know that the majority of my energy is put into making them happy and constantly feel loved. I like to hope that this habit is ingrained in me after 27 years. That I’m giving my energy to the people I love rather than the “things” surrounding me. This feels like a huge first step! These are people! These are the things that I need! Empty the closet, give away all my furniture, burn down the apartment, and free my burdened soul of these possessions that don’t make up who I am!
But wait… I need at least a bed. And some of those clothes. And an apartment for my pets and myself to live. Crap. I guess it doesn’t happen that fast or to an extent that extreme. That’s just some of what I’ve been able to absorb from him thus far. It’s not just about eliminating everything and trying to live with barely anything. It’s about appreciating life with less, or even with what you have and not craving more “stuff”. Finding out that happiness isn’t going to suddenly fly into your life with that new pair of heels or with a shiny new car. The ability to be happy is something that you have already within yourself and that’s what we should be buying into.
Knowing that I’m happy when I make others happy – That’s a step forward. Now I have to take a small step back and reassess the materials and thoughts that might be weighing me down. Or why I’m so reliant on others to make me happy instead of knowing how to be content alone. I even started a blog that reflected off of me onto Ryan because it’s easier to focus on another instead of myself. Now it sounds like a bigger step backwards. This is when I open my ears and heart and let my wise friend/wise boyfriend guide me towards the next step. Realistically, I know that I’m not going to suddenly own nothing and become one with myself and of just being. But I’m certainly in line behind all the other people in my minimalist boyfriend’s life that are willing to learn more about what this world could offer and what we could offer back.
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